Ok, so hands up, who is thinking “what the actual hell?!” right now….?
For someone who coaches others through moments like this, it can still creep up on me pretty quickly and slap me right in the face. However, once you’ve learnt how to manage these “what the hell” moments, you can eventually loosen their grip on you.
So let’s talk about surrender…
It starts with understanding that we are here to experience the fullness of life’s experience and we can only do that with contrast. After all, how would you know what true happiness and peace felt like if you hadn’t experienced the opposite? Would you know what success was if you hadn’t experienced failure? How would you measure success without the opposite at play?
As much as we like to think we are in control, we are not. We cannot control outward circumstances, no matter how hard we try (and believe me, I’ve tried pretty damn hard!) However, this does not mean you don’t get a say in how your life plays out and it certainly does not mean you are a victim (more on this another time…)
There is a universal flow to life. Within this flow there are twists and turns, a few rocks with sharp edges, but there is also a perfection in it that is beyond our human minds to comprehend.
Life WILL come along and strip you of some layers sometime. After all, you probably won’t voluntarily peel that onion yourself! But what life is doing is freeing you of yourself, your ego, the part of you that has stubborn attachments to certain outcomes. The more you can let go of the need to control what’s happening, the freer you can become. Life knows what is for your greatest and highest good!
In these moments of stress and uncertainty, it might not feel this way but I assure you life is trying to show you the path of least resistance. The reason we feel such struggle and strife is because we’re fighting against life; we are trying to swim upstream rather than go with the flow of the river.
When you stop fighting with life, that very persistent voice in your head that is screaming “what ifs” at you and making every attempt to keep you in your comfort zone where it’s familiar – it will begin to quieten down. It won’t have as much power over you.
When you stop fighting with life, you simply surrender to it. You reach a state of acceptance and you MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. You accept that life knows what it is doing and you wait in excited anticipation of its next move.
Michael Singer, author of The Surrender Experiment, summed it quite nicely when he said…
“Eventually even the mind stops resisting and the heart loses the tendency to close. The joy, excitement and freedom are simply too beautiful to give up. Once you are ready to let go of yourself, life becomes your friend, your teacher, your secret lover. When life’s way becomes your way, all the noise stops, and there is a great peace.”