Updated: Jun 28
I did a Facebook live recently on the very important topic of Surrender and wanted to share the video here with you today.
Spiritual Surrender is a theme that has been running through my life for a long time now, and a theme that has now also become a very big part of people's lives all over the world I'm sure, given 2020's events.
I know there are so many people out there struggling with all the change and uncertainty. Even though change and uncertainty has almost become the "new normal", it doesn't make it any easier and I know how tiring it is to fight with life all the time.
We can spend so much energy trying to change what's happening in our external world to make ourselves feel happier on the inside. But the thing is, we're channelling our energy in the wrong direction. I see too many people growing tired and weary because they are fighting what's out there, which ultimately is not within your control.
If you want to change anything about the world right now, you have to start with you. And the first thing you can do is to surrender. Surrender to what is. Surrender into a state of deep acceptance and let go of any preferences about how life "should" be, so that you can achieve a sense of peace and focus on thriving instead of simply surviving.
I have to say, the concept of Surrender has been one of the biggest challenges of my life. You see, I have been a massive perfectionist and control freak. I still am to an extent, but it's better managed. My perfectionism and need to control has helped me achieve some wonderful things, but my god did I have to fight hard to get there. It's only in the last couple of years (and because Spirit kicked me up the ass and forced me), that I realised I didn't need to try so hard to control everything.
I want to talk to you about Surrender to help you move through what's happening in the world with more ease and grace. To help you give up the fight and start living instead.
The process of Surrender is just that...a process. It isn't a magical moment of transformation. This means, the voice of doubt that creeps in and tells you everything I am sharing with you right now is a load of tosh and couldn't possibly apply to you and what's showing up in your life - this voice will keep trying to be heard as you work with the act of surrender, build your surrender muscle and eventually loosen the voice of doubt's grip on you.
What is surrender?
When you think of surrender, a lot of people say it conjures up an image of a little white flag that signifies the end of a war, implying that one side is giving up, letting someone else win and this implies they lost and that they are weak.
This isn't true when I speak of Spiritual Surrender, so I always want to make a point to explain what it really means.
The first definition of Spiritual Surrender is to get out of the way of what's trying to unfold.
We get in our own way by trying to control things in our external environment that are not to our liking. We're deciding that something that's happening out there is not good and we're trying to change it into something that is good, that feels good, that pleases us. But, what if what you're perceiving to be "bad" is the biggest blessing that could come your way?
I hear what you're saying, "Well, it looks bad, it feels bad, it's hurting me, it's changing things in my life for the worse, so it's bad!"
Often, it's only with hindsight that we see that something we perceived as "bad" initially, turned out to be for our greatest and highest good. I'm sure there are times in your life that you can look back on and think, "Well that was pretty crappy at the time, but if it hadn't have happened, I wouldn't be where I am today/be who I am with today/be doing what I am doing today."
The fact of the matter here is everything that's happening in your external world is AT BEST under your influence, but it is not under your control.
Another way of defining surrender is letting go.
Letting go of any preconceived ideas about how things should be.
Letting go of any meaning you're making of things/situations that doesn't serve you.
Letting go of the niggling thoughts of doubt that run through your mind that tell you how things should or shouldn't be and that you're a failure if you haven't made something happen a certain way.
Letting go of the need to know with absolute certainty what's coming next.
With any definition of surrender, the problem is your preferences. You have preferences as to how things should be and how things should play out, and when they are not that way you feel frustrated and try and make it the way it should be.
This might sound like I'm saying that in order to surrender you have to have no preferences? No, not at all.
Let's exchange the word preferences, for desires. You can have desires. But, you must give yourself permission to really look deep into these desires and ask yourself what they ultimately mean to you. For example, someone might have a preference to be rich, but ultimately what they are seeking is a sense of security and peace. Someone else might have a preference to meet the love of their life by the time they are 30, but is it about the person or meeting them by the time they are 30? No. It's more than likely about the ultimate desire to feel love, connection or safety.
Having desires and having goals gives you a direction in life. They allow you to take inspired action day to day to move towards getting the things you want, but the secret is to let go of exactly what YOU prefer that to look like and play out, because it's very possible that the Universe will bring you what you need but it will look very different or happen in a very different way to what you prefer. In fact, the Universe's way is often even more wonderful than the "how" that you imagined in your head.
Let's apply all of this to the world right now. It's a challenging time. People all over the world are losing their jobs, their livelihoods, people are isolated from their loved ones, people are losing their loved ones. Seriously, what a time to live in this world!
Now is THE PERFECT time to learn the art of surrender.
So how do you surrender?
It boils down to making a choice of trust and faith. To trust that everything that is happening is for your greatest and highest good; to have faith that you will be taken care of in a way that is right for you.
This doesn't mean that if you surrender that suddenly everything will be ok. It means there will still be challenges and obstacles but that you have faith that they are taking you somewhere, that there is purpose in the madness, that there is a journey you're being asked to take to grow and uplevel you like never before.
It's in the hardest times that we grow the most. It's during the darkest days that you get to meet parts of yourself that you've never met before. And sometime in the future, you will thank the Universe for helping you to do that. To evolve. To see and understand yourself differently. To see the world differently.
The hardest thing about this is that we cannot see around corners. We are all being asked to trust in the unseen, to have belief that a higher power is working for our greatest and highest good.
Whether you choose trust and faith or not, life is going to continue to show up in the many wonderful ways that it does, so the best choice is to accept what shows up and be empowered by trusting life. This way, you can stop fighting with life and move into a mindset of curiosity and discovery.
When your mindset shifts to curiosity and discovery, you start asking yourself new questions.
Where could this be taking me?
What am I going to discover about myself?
How is what's happening right now happening FOR me, not TO me?
How is what is showing up in my life absolutely perfect?
That last question is a tough one to wrap your head around sometimes. But, I assure you that even in what we perceive to be the biggest of challenges, what is happening is absolutely perfect in the context of your world, in the context of the Universe. What's showing up is exactly what is supposed to be there.
That's going quite deep, more on the perfection of the Universe another time.
Right now, let's summarise the act of surrender:
Move out of the way: stop trying to control everything and let events unfold in the way they need to.
Let go of preferences: set goals and have desires, but be open to the "how" and let the Universe bring you your desires in the form that is for your greatest good.
Stop fighting: realise that you cannot control what's going on in your external world and that you can only control what's going on inside of you.
Get out of the detail: take a birds eye perspective of what's showing up in your life and let yourself consider how something could be happening for you. Give yourself permission to imagine what might be possible as a result of what's showing up.
If you're ready to learn the art of Spiritual Surrender, to meet yourself like never before, to find out who you really are, to release all the "shoulds", myths and illusions of the world and move forward to create a way of life that fits for you, I'd love to chat with you.
Contact me to book a call:
WhatsApp/Text/Telegram App: 07792 394623